Your Dog has Been Abducted by Aliens
David Yates
There's a note on your fridge. It's a piece of white printer paper with letters cut out of a magazine glued onto it.
You find that a bit odd, as you thought that kind of thing went out of fashion around the time of the handheld printing press. The note says:
YOUR BELOVED PET CANINE DOG HAS BEEN ABDUCTED AND TAKEN BY ALIENS AND FOREIGNERS
So it appears you're dealing with aliens. Foreign aliens. Foreign alien Luddites.