POV: You're the Toxic Uncle at Thanksgiving Dinner
Countere Magazine
/=*-Editor's Note:-*=/ /=The following is a work of satire and not intended to be taken seriously. Try to find all four endings. Happy Thanksgiving! —Countere=/
Thanksgiving 2022. To your great surprise, you've been invited again by your younger brother, Mike, and his wife, Martha. Last year went terribly—no doubt primarily your fault, as you immediately started a political argument, got piss-poor drunk, and ended up vomiting on the cat.
Well, here you are again, sitting at the table. The turkey is steaming on the table, surrounded by heaps of broccoli, mashed potatoes, and candied yams. Something about the turkey looks slightly ...off. Rubbery. Mike sits at the head of the table, while Martha nervously strokes his arm and looks at you. Sitting across from you is their daughter (and your niece) Meghan, a pink-haired senior at Northwestern University, and her grad student boyfriend, Jack. Jack looks /=much =/older than Meghan—but you can't tell if it's because of his completely bald head and pubic-looking beard or his actual age. He's slim, like a guy who does a lot of cardio.
"Well, Uncle Greg," Martha tells you. "We thought we should let you know that this year we have a soy turkey!" Your jaw drops. "100% vegan," Meghan adds happily, as she turns to Jack and squeezes his hand. You stare at the turkey.